Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
no, he came in my armpit
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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