Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
