I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
