reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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