Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
