You made me cry and you don't even care
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
