I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
