can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
