At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
