They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
