My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
