can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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