Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Randomize
