Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
