Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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