Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
