she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
