Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
