if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize