she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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