Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
