If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
