Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
