i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
