just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
