I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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