puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
