U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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