...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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