ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
