Too much gin, very little bucket
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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