Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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