You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
