Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
