Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
