dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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