My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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