To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
