the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
