All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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