Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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