So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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