Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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