Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
organizing the empties. That sober.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
