how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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