how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
