i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
