hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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