And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
