he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize