Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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