i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
