I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
