why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
