Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
