He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize