I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
