ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
