You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
