return my video game
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
