All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize