i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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